Diary Entry on Skin Color: May 17, 1977

Would somebody please interpret this journal rumination from the fourteen-year-old version of me, remembering that I was in an almost all-white high school?

It's clear that I was procrastinating my algebra by writing in my diary about an unrequited crush, but what exactly did I mean by "I wish I could hide behind my skin color more often, instead of cowering nakedly in front of it"?


Maybe you hid behind it thinking that the crush didn't like you because of your skin, not just because of you?

It's funny, because I am ruminating about a jr. high crush on my blog today too!
Loved reading the phrase "truck on over"--so 70s. Theory on "hiding behind skin color" is that maybe you felt more comfortable being exempted from cutthroat social life by virtue of your exceptional "warm, rich & tanned" skin color? (Loved that simple sentence "I'm satisfied.") But perhaps the "cowering" line showed you also felt that sometimes it was not enough of a shield to hide your feelings...middle school is excruciating.